Sunday, April 24, 2011

I open my mouth and words fall out.

Where did all the time go? Just spent the last two weeks trying to do some work and failing miserably... and now I'm in a weird state of regret and apathy. I know I should care, I know I should be stressed out but I simply can't summon the effort to care.
And also, wondering why I even bother to do it all. I am just an insignificant piece of carbon, as we all are, so why even bother to better my lot? In time, we all die anyway.
Weird mood. As always.


I could say that about so many people. Makes me wonder a bit about the strength and validity of my relationships with so many people; will I still talk to them in a few months time after we leave school? Probably not, I have a feeling that I will end up very alone, with only tea and cats as company. My 'group' (every time I refer to them as that, I immediately get the feeling that I've transported back to primary school) contains people who I know well just by the virtue of being around them a few hours each day, but once that is removed will we have anything to talk about?
A friend of mine laughed and made fun at me when I said something along the lines of 'What if I don't have friends at uni?'
A part of me actually meant it.


That pretty much encapsulated my day:
1. Watched Doctor Who. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
2. Finished my WWI notes. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
3. Thought about life. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

Going to go and cry into my chocolate now (being ridiculously melodramatic as I am).

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